i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
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