did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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