Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
