Me too!
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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