I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Just pee around me
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
