It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
