omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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