I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
