When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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