what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
