the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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