after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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