Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
