He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
