Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize