i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
You were trust falling into bushes
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
