i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
