i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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