Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
