I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
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