hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
