I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Randomize
