Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize