The brown eye won't let me do that either.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
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