My hand turned me down
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
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