what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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