just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
