and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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