Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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