I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
