nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
