On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
