would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
