So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
