imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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