ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
