Rock
Scissors
Fuck
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
