I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
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