Joe is yelling at the trees again.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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