He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
