dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
