I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
