8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
