you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
