I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
