was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Everyone says I win the strip club
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
