youre lurking in front of me
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
