The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
