Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
