New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Randomize
