Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
