Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
babies were throwing up all over the place
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Randomize
