how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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