I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
So apparently I’m into choking now
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