we have officially lost it.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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