he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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