You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Randomize
