I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
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