so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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