Who did Billy Mays play for?
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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