we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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