Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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