Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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